Fair Harvard, dear guide of our youth's golden days; At thy name all our hearts own a thrill, We turn from life's .highways, its business, its cares,...
Yet look at the thousands whose every day prayer, Far more than their own or their neighbor's salvation, Absorbs every thought, every dream, and all care, "To eat or to wear, is anything new in creation?"
What else do they live for? They live but for this; And nothing but this ever troubles their thinking; Rich eating, rich dressing, and flirting's their bliss, And life's better purposes constantly blinking. ...
Now heaven in mercy be kind to the wretch, Who marries for money or fashion or folly; He'd better accept of the noose of Jack Ketch Than such a "help-meet;" or at once marry Dolly...
But he's an old fogy, you may know by this sign-- He don't smoke tobacco, drink lager or wine; And swears that rich gravy, roast pork or chop, Would kill a big ostrich, if stuffed in his crop. ...
But this is concocted by rules so complete; Though piquant, is healthy and easy digested; And if you will note it as slowly we eat, The contents I'll give for our friends interested. ...
'If wishes were horses'--I've heard when a girl-- 'If wishes were horses, the beggars would ride'-- If wishes were pheasants, I'd wish with a skirl Till cooked ones came flying and sat by my side. ...