These are the things that make me laugh
Life's a preposterous farce, say I!
And I've missed of too many jokes by half.
The high-heeled antics of colt and calf,
The men who think they can act, and try
These are the things that make me laugh.
The hard-boiled poses in photograph,
The groom still wearing his wedding tie
And I've missed of too many jokes by half!
These are the bubbles I gayly quaff
With the rank conceit of the new-born fly
These are the things that make me laugh!
For, Heaven help me! I needs must chaff,
And people will tickle me till I die
And I've missed of too many jokes by half!
So write me down in my epitaph
As one too fond of his health to cry
These are the things that make me laugh,
And I've missed of too many jokes by half!