X. 48
Woe to the house whose mistress was a slave!
So say old saws, my own in aid I crave;
Woe to the court whose judge once spake for fees,
Though he were readier than Isocrates!
An advocate that pleaded once for pelf
Scarce on the bench forgets his former self.
Palladas.
XI. 75
This Olympicus of old
Had, Sebastus, I am told
Quite his share of upper gear,
Nose and chin and eye and ear.
All he lost, and by his fist--
He became a pugilist.
Loss of members with it drew
Loss of patrimony too.
When his birthright he would claim,
Into court his brother came
With a portrait, saying, "Thus
Looked the old Olympicus."
None could any likeness see,
Disinherited was he.
Lucillus.
XI. 141
A pig, a goat, an ox I lost:
I want them back at any cost,
And so retained, O woful fate!
Menecles for my advocate.
But tell me, will you, what have these
In common with Othryades?
The heroes of Thermopyl'
Have nought to do with theft from me.
Against Eutychides I bring
My action for a trivial thing.
Let Xerxes rest a little space,
And leave the Spartans in their place.
For if you don't put all this by
I'll go into the streets and cry,
"The voice of Menecles is big,
But what about my stolen pig?"
Lucillus.
[This Epigram is probably an imitation of that of Martial, on p. 90.]
XI. 143
Pluto rejected at his gate
The soul of Mark the advocate;
"No, Cerberus my dog," quoth he,
"Will make you pleasant company;
But if within you needs must go,
Practise on poet Melito,
And you shall have, if he won't do,
Tityus and Ixion too.
You'll be to hell the sorest ill
Of all that hell contains, until
There come to us worse barbarisms
When Rufus speaks his solecisms."
Lucillus.
XI. 147
So soon hath Asiaticus
The gift of eloquence achieved?
It was in Thebes it happened thus,
The story well may be believed.
Ammianus.
XI. 151
The statue of an advocate, as like as like can be.
And why? The statue cannot speak a word, no more could he.
Anon.
XI. 152
Paul, dost thou wish to make thy boy
An advocate like these his betters?
Then let him not his time employ
To useless ends in learning letters.
Ammianus.
XI. 251
The parties were as deaf as deaf could be,
The judge was far the deafest of the three.
Said plaintiff, "Sir, I ask for five months' rent."
Defendant, "Grinding corn all night I spent."
"Why," quoth the judge, "dispute? Your mother's claim
Is good, and you must both support the dame."
Nicarchus.
XI. 350
Remember justice and her yoke, and know
That 'gainst the wicked votes of "Guilty" go.
Thou trustest in thy cunning speech, thy power
Of speaking words that vary with the hour.
Hope what thou wilt, thy trifling tricks are vain,
Thou canst not make the path of law less plain.
Agathias.
XI. 376
Once to Diodorus came a client in a state of doubt,
And to that most learned counsel thus he set the matter out:
"Alpha Beta found a slave-girl who had run away from me:
To a slave of his he wed her, though she was my property,
Well he knew she was my chattel; she has had a child or two;
Now I cannot tell for certain whose the children are, can you?"
Diodorus thought, consulted all authorities on "Slave,"
To his client turned his furrowed brows and slowly answer gave:
"'Tis to you or to the other who, you say, has done you wrong,
That the children of the handmaid rightfully of course belong,
Your best plan will be the matter in the proper court to place,
So you'll get a good opinion whether you have any case."
Agathias.
PLAN, 193
"Good Hermes, only just one cabbage plant."
"Stop, stop, my thieving traveller, you can't."
"What, grudge me one poor cabbage! is it so?"
"Nay, I don't grudge it, but the law says no.
The law says, Keep your itching palms, d'ye see,
From meddling with another's property."
"Well, this beats anything I ever saw!
Hermes against a thief invokes the law."
Philippus.
APPENDIX, 385
Pupils seven of Aristides,
Tell me, how are ye?
Four of you are walls, beside is
Nought but benches three.
Another Version
Seven pupils of the rhetor
Aristides, how are ye?
Seven! Hoc et nihil pr'ter,
Four are walls and benches three.
Anon.
MARTIAL
In Caium
"Lend me sestertia, Caius, only twenty,
'Tis no great thing for you who roll in plenty."
He was an old companion, and his coffers
Were full enough to stand such friendly offers.
"Go, plead in court," said he; "'tis pleadings pay us."
"I want your money, not your counsel, Caius."
Martial, ii. 30.
In Causidicum
'Tis said that some bold advocate
Has dared to criticise my poem,
His name I have not learned, his fate
Will be a warning when I know him.
Martial, v. 33.
In Postumum Causidicum
No claim for trespass do I bring,
Or homicide, or poisoning.
I claim that by my neighbour's theft
Of she-goats three I was bereft.
The judge of course wants evidence,
But you go wandering far from thence,
And with a mighty voice declaim
Of Mithridates and the shame
Of Cann', and the lies of old
That Punic politicians told.
And why should you pass Sylla by,
The Marii and Mucii?
When, Postumus, d'ye hope to reach
My stolen she-goats in your speech?
Martial, vi. 19.
In Cinnam
Is this advocacy, Cinna, this a type of lawyers' powers,
This immense oration, Cinna, some nine words in some ten hours?
Waterclocks I grant you asked for, Cinna, yes, you called for four;
There you stopped, such wealth of silence, Cinna, ne'er was seen before.
Martial, viii. 7.