Somewhere in a distant star,
Cities of Cocaigne there are,
Paradises of the Bar.
Somewhere 'neath another sun
Counsel cease to see the fun
Lurking in a judge's pun.
Somewhere courts are fair to see,
Beauty joins utility,
Ushers answer courteously.
Somewhere there are bailiwicks
Which for dock defences fix
Nothing under three-five-six.
Somewhere rises struggle sore
For revisorships no more,
Every shire has half a score.
Somewhere educated thought
Scientifically taught
Cross-examines as it ought.
Somewhere judgments are obeyed,
Executions are not stayed,
Fees are almost always paid.
Somewhere County Councils press
Banquets on the circuit mess,
Fleshpots in the wilderness.
Somewhere at Assizes grow
Prosecutions row on row,
Every man has six or so.
Somewhere, eager but for right,
Court and counsel cease to cite
Pointless cases recondite.
Somewhere headnotes give the ground
Whereupon the judges found
Judgments generally sound.
Somewhere juries use their sense,
Basing on the evidence
Verdicts of intelligence.
Somewhere rich embroideries
Woven cunningly of lies
Part in twain at truth's clear eyes.
Somewhere justice grows from wrong,
Till the right that suffered long
Sings at last its triumph song.
Somewhere--even in a place
Peopled by a perfect race--
One side holds a losing case.
Somewhere since the world began
Heaven hath made an honest man,
Somewhere in Aldebaran.