Come! Why, halloa, that you, Jack?
How's the world been using you?
Want your pipe? it's in the jar
Think I might be looking blue.
Maud's been breaking off with me,
Fact see here I've got the ring.
That's the note she sent it in;
Read it soothing sort of thing.
Jack, you know I write sometimes
Must have read some things of mine.
Well, I thought I'd just send Maud
Something for a valentine.
So I ground some verses out
In the softest kind of style,
Full of love, and that, you know
Bothered me an awful while;
Quite a heavy piece of work.
So when I had got them done
Why, I thought them much too good
Just to waste that way on one.
Jack, I told you, didn't I,
All about that black-eyed girl
Up in Stratford last July
Oh! you know; you saw her curl?
Well, old fellow, she's the one
That this row is all about,
For I sent her who'd have thought
Maud would ever find it out
Those same verses, word for word
Hang it, man! you needn't roar
"Splendid joke!" well, so I thought
No, don't think so any more.
Yesterday, you know it rained,
I'd been up late at a ball
Didn't know what else to do
Went up and made Maud a call,
Found some other girl there, too,
They were playing a duet.
"Fred, my cousin, Nelly Deane,"
Yes, Jack, there was my brunette;
You should just have seen me, Jack
Now, old fellow, please don't laugh,
I feel bad about it fact
And I really can't stand chaff.
Well, I tried to talk to Maud,
There was Nell, though, sitting by;
Every now and then she'd laugh,
Sure I can't imagine why.
Maud would read that beastly poem,
Nell's eyes said in just one glance,
"Wont I make you pay for this,
If I ever get the chance!"
Some one came and rang the bell,
Just a note for Nell, by post.
Jack, I saw my monogram
I'd have rather seen a ghost.
Yes her verses I suppose
That her folks had sent them down
Couldn't get up there, you know
Till she'd left and come to town.
Nelly looked them quickly through
Laughed by Jove, I thought she'd choke.
"Maud he'll kill me dear! oh, dear!
Read that; isn't it a joke?"
Maud glanced through them sank right down
On the sofa hid her face
"Crying!" not much laughing, Jack
Don't think she's a hopeless case.
I just grabbed my hat and left
Only wish I'd gone before.
How they laughed! I heard them, Jack
Till I got outside the door.
There, confession's done me good,
I can never win her back,
So I'll calmly let her slide
Pass the ash-cup, will you, Jack.