Works

Strange, is it not? She was making her garden,
Planting the old-fashioned flowers that day
Bleeding-hearts tender and bachelors-buttons
Spreading the seeds in the old-fashioned way.
...

To be a great musician you must be a man of moods,
You have to be, to understand sonatas and etudes.
To execute pianos and to fiddle with success,
With sympathy and feeling you must fairly effervesce;...

King Joris was a kind-eyed king,
A dear old, gentle, smiling thing;
But 'though by nature meek and mild,
Two things could drive him raving wild,
Dishonesty, its naughty ways; Ingratitude, its sting.
...

Mary had a little frog
And it was water-soaked,
But Mary did not keep it long
Because, of course, it croaked!

Captain O'Hare was a mariner brave;
He refused to abandon his ship;
A hero, he sleeps in a watery grave,
And his widow is now Mrs. Bipp,
Haw! Haw!
His widow is now Mrs. Bipp!
...

The Gossoon (Weeping)

It's bleedin'! It's bleedin'!


The Ould Woman (Soothingly)

An' shure, me lad, 't is bleedin';
But come, me hearty laddy buck, be brave an' do not cry;...

Said Statesman A to Statesman Z:
'What can we tax that is not paying?
We're taxing every blessed thing'
Here's what our people are defraying:

'Tariff tax, income tax,
Tax on retail sales,...

I

Whenas, (I love that 'whenas' word,
It shows I am a poet, too,)
Q. Horace Flaccus gaily stirred
The welkin with his tra-la-loo,
He little thought one donkey's back...

Was ever a maiden so worried?
I'll admit I am partial to Jim,
For Jimmie has promised to wed me
When I'm old enough to wed him.

But then I love teacher, too, dearly,
She's always so lovely to me,...