Works

"Oh lend me five," the young man cried,
"My money all is spent."
The maiden shook her head and sighed,
"I'm sorry but it's Lent."

I'm the ghost of that poor gobbler
Who used to be so great,
They took my poor, neglected bones
And piled them on a plate.
Reader, shed a kindly tear
For my unhappy fate.
...

The list is long, the stories read the same;
Strong mortal man is but a flesh-hued toy;
Some have their ending in a life of shame;
Others drink deeply from the glass of joy;...

John went into the garden one day
And found his baby sister at play;

John hit baby with a brick
And laughed because it made her sick.

John is only two and six...

(By A. Turkey Gobbler.)


I'm just a turkey gobbler,
But I've got a word to say
And I'd like to say it quickly
Before I pass away,
For I will get it in the neck
Upon Thanksgiving Day....

Lobsters haven't any feet,
But they have lots of claws;
Yet lobster meat is good to eat,
And this is strange, because--
A dog is never good to eat,
And yet a dog has paws,...

They were seated there in silence
Each one busy with a frown,
It was midnight in the city,
And the lid was on the town.
They had all been playing poker
'Mid the rattle of the chink,...