Candidates at an election allus reminds me ov a lot o' bees turned aat, for they fly abaat th' country buzzin' an' hummin', wol yor fair capt what a din they con mak; but as sooin as they pop into th' hive o' St. Stephen's yo n...
It's a long loin 'at's niver a turn, an' th' longest loin ends somewhear. Ther's a end to mooast things, an' this is th' end o' the year. When a chap gets turned o' forty, years dooant seem as long as once they did - he begins ...
Ov whooalsum food aw get mi fill, - Ov drink aw seldom want a gill; Aw've clooas to shield me free throo harm, Should winds be cold or th' sun be warm.
If ther's ony sooart o' fowk aw hate, it's them at's allus lukkin' aght for faults; - hang it up! they get soa used to it, wol they willn't see ony beauties if they are thear. They remind me ov a chap 'at aw knew at wed a woman...
When ther's a flaar show, clooas show at th' same time. Aw hear fowk tawk abaat "floral gems," and sich like stuff, but aw understand varry little abaat it. But aw've a few gems ov another sooart at sich times - aw call 'em gem...
Ther's some born fooils, an' ther's some mak thersen fooils, an'. ther's some get made fooils on. When we hear fowk tell tales abaat sein' boggards, an gettin' ther planets ruled, we think it saands fooilish. Nah an' then one t...
Last May Mr. Goosequill, attorney-at-law, liberally forgave a poor widow the expenses of a trial in which he had been engaged. It is a singular fact that a tom-cat, which had been for years in the gentleman's family, having cau...
Said Mistress Smith to Mistress Green, Aw'm feeard we'st ha to flit; Twelve year i' this same haase we've been, An should be stoppin yet, I'th' same old spot, we thowt to spend...
Give it 'em hot, an be hanged to ther feelins! Souls may be lost wol yor choosin' yor words! Out wi' them doctrines 'at taich o' fair dealins! Daan wi' a vice tho' it may be a lord's!...
Draw thi cheer nigher th' foir, put th' knittin away, Put thi tooas up o'th' fender to warm: We've booath wrought enuff, aw should think, for a day, An a rest willn't do us mich harm....
Sleep bonny babby, thi grondad is near, Noa harm can touch thee, sleep withaat fear; Innocent craytur, soa helpless an waik, Grondad wod give up his life for thy sake, Sleep little beauty,...
'A, Johnny! A'a, Johnny! aw'm sooary for thee! But come thi ways to me, an sit o' mi knee; For it's shockin to hearken to th' words 'at tha says; - Ther wor nooan sich like things i' thi gronfayther's days. ...
Old age, aw can feel's creepin on, Aw've noa taste for what once made me glad; Mi love ov wild marlocks is gooan, An aw know awm noa longer a lad. When aw luk back at th' mile stooans aw've pass'd,...
Squibs an' crackers! Starleets an' catterin wheels! Bunfires an' traikle parkin! This is th' time for a bit ov a jollification. Guy Fawkes did a gooid turn, after all, when he tried to blow th' Parliament haase up; for we shoul...
Then its O! for a wife, sich a wife as aw know! Who's thowts an desires are pure as the snow, Who nivver thinks virtue a reason for praise, An who shudders when tell'd ov this world's wicked ways. ...
Varry monny years ago, when this world wor rather young, A varry wicked sarpent, wi' a varry oily tongue, Whispered summat varry nowty into Mistress Adam's ear;...
I hope my readers will regard that varry gooid advice, when they see th' grass cut - "Mak hay woll th 'sun shines." There's nowt aw like better nor to spend a day or two in a hay field. Tawk abaat "Ho de Colong!" It doesn't sme...
He wor a poor hard workin lad, An shoo a workin lass, An hard they tew'd throo day to day, For varry little brass. An oft they tawk'd o'th' weddin day, An lang'd for th' happy time,...