Works

There was an Old Person of Tring,
Who embellished his nose with a ring;
He gazed at the moon,
Every evening in June,
That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.

There was an Old Man on some rocks,
Who shut his wife up in a box;
When she said, "Let me out,"
He exclaimed, "Without doubt,
You will pass all your life in that box."

There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
The length of whose legs was immense;
He went with one prance,
From Turkey to France,
That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.

There was an Old Person of Chili,
Whose conduct was painful and silly;
He sate on the stairs,
Eating apples and pears,
That imprudent Old Person of Chili.

There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
Who perpetually ate bread and butter;
Till a great bit of muffin,
On which he was stuffing,
Choked that horrid old man of Calcutta.

There was an Old Man in a pew,
Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
But he tore it in pieces,
To give to his nieces, -
That cheerful Old Man in a pew.

There was an Old Man who said, "How, -
Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile,
Which may soften the heart of that Cow."

There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
But she seized on a spade,
And called out - "Who's afraid!"
Which distracted that virulent Bull.

There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
But they said - "It's absurd,
To encourage this bird!"
So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.

There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
The smallest as ever was born;
But quickly snapt up he,
Was once by a puppy,
Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.

There was an Old Man of the Hague,
Whose ideas were excessively vague;
He built a balloon,
To examine the moon,
That deluded Old Man of the Hague.

There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
Who suddenly married a Quaker;
But she cried out - "O lack!
I have married a black!"
Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.

There was an old person of Dutton,
Whose head was so small as a button;
So to make it look big,
He purchased a wig,
And rapidly rushed about Dutton.

There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
At the sound of each sweep,
She enraptured the deep,
And enchanted the city of Tyre.

There was an Old Man with a gong,
Who bumped at it all the day long;
But they called out, "O law!
You're a horrid old bore!"
So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.

There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
When they said - "Is it small?"
He replied - "Not at all!
It is four times as big as the bush!"

There was an Old Man of the East,
Who gave all his children a feast;
But they all ate so much,
And their conduct was such,
That it killed that Old Man of the East.

There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
Who possessed a remarkably fat cur,
His gait and his waddle,
Were held as a model,
To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.

There was an Old Man of the Coast,
Who placidly sat on a post;
But when it was cold,
He relinquished his hold,
And called for some hot buttered toast.

There was an Old Person of Bangor,
Whose face was distorted with anger;
He tore off his boots,
And subsisted on roots,
That borascible person of Bangor.