I've often wish'd that I had clear, For life, six hundred pounds a-year, A handsome house to lodge a friend, A river at my garden's end, A terrace-walk, and half a rood Of land, set out to plant a wood....
Again? new tumults in my breast? Ah, spare me, Venus! let me, let me rest! I am not now, alas! the man As in the gentle reign of my Queen Anne. Ah, sound no more thy soft alarms,...
There was an Old Derry down Derry, Who loved to see little folks merry; So he made them a Book, And with laughter they shook, At the fun of that Derry down Derry!
There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, "It is just as I feared! - Two Owls and a Hen, Four Larks and a Wren, Have all built their nests in my beard!"
There was an Old Man in a tree, Who was horribly bored by a Bee; When they said, "Does it buzz?" He replied, "Yes, it does! "It's a regular brute of a Bee!"
There was a Young Lady of Sweden, Who went by the slow train to Weedon; When they cried, "Weedon Station!" She made no observation, But thought she should go back to Sweden.
There was a Young Girl of Majorca, Whose aunt was a very fast walker; She walked seventy miles, And leaped fifteen stiles, Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
There was an Old Man of the Cape, Who possessed a large Barbary Ape; Till the Ape one dark night, Set the house on a light, Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
There was an Old Lady of Prague, Whose language was horribly vague; When they said, "Are these caps?" She answered, "Perhaps!" That oracular Lady of Prague.
There was an Old Person of Sparta, Who had twenty-five sons and one daughter; He fed them on snails, And weighed them in scales, That wonderful person of Sparta.
There was an Old Man at a easement, Who held up his hands in amazement; When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" He replied, "Not at all!" That incipient Old Man at a casement.
There was an old Person of Burton, Whose answers were rather uncertain; When they said, "How d'ye do?" He replied, "Who are you?" That distressing old person of Burton.
There was an Old Person of Ewell, Who chiefly subsisted on gruel; But to make it more nice, He inserted some mice, Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
There was a Young Lady of Parma, Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer; When they said, "Are you dumb?" She merely said, "Hum!" That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
There was an Old Man with a flute, A sarpint ran into his boot; But he played day and night, Till the sarpint took flight, And avoided that man with a flute.
There was an Old Man of Aosta, Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her; But they said, "Don't you see, She has rushed up a tree? You invidious Old Man of Aosta!"
There was an Old Man, on whose nose, Most birds of the air could repose; But they all flew away, At the closing of day, Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.