Works

There was an Old Man in a pew,
Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
But he tore it in pieces,
To give to his nieces, -
That cheerful Old Man in a pew.

There was an Old Man who said, "How, -
Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile,
Which may soften the heart of that Cow."

There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
But she seized on a spade,
And called out - "Who's afraid!"
Which distracted that virulent Bull.

There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
But they said - "It's absurd,
To encourage this bird!"
So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.

There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
The smallest as ever was born;
But quickly snapt up he,
Was once by a puppy,
Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.

There was an Old Man of the Hague,
Whose ideas were excessively vague;
He built a balloon,
To examine the moon,
That deluded Old Man of the Hague.

There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
Who suddenly married a Quaker;
But she cried out - "O lack!
I have married a black!"
Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.

There was an old person of Dutton,
Whose head was so small as a button;
So to make it look big,
He purchased a wig,
And rapidly rushed about Dutton.

There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
At the sound of each sweep,
She enraptured the deep,
And enchanted the city of Tyre.

There was an Old Man with a gong,
Who bumped at it all the day long;
But they called out, "O law!
You're a horrid old bore!"
So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.

There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
When they said - "Is it small?"
He replied - "Not at all!
It is four times as big as the bush!"

There was an Old Man of the East,
Who gave all his children a feast;
But they all ate so much,
And their conduct was such,
That it killed that Old Man of the East.

There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
Who possessed a remarkably fat cur,
His gait and his waddle,
Were held as a model,
To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.

There was an Old Man of the Coast,
Who placidly sat on a post;
But when it was cold,
He relinquished his hold,
And called for some hot buttered toast.

There was an Old Person of Bangor,
Whose face was distorted with anger;
He tore off his boots,
And subsisted on roots,
That borascible person of Bangor.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who sat on a horse when he reared;
But they said, "Never mind!
You will fall off behind,
You propitious Old Man with a beard!"

There was an Old Man of the West,
Who never could get any rest;
So they set him to spin,
On his nose find his chin,
Which cured that Old Man of the West.

There was an Old Person of Anerley,
Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
He rushed down the Strand,
With a Pig in each hand,
But returned in the evening to Anerley.

There was a Young Lady of Troy,
Whom several large flies did annoy;
Some she killed with a thump,
Some she drowned at the pump,
And some she took with her to Troy.

There was an Old Man of Berlin,
Whose form was uncommonly thin;
Till he once, by mistake,
Was mixed up in a cake,
So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.