There was an old person of Newry, Whose manners were tinctured with fury; He tore all the rugs, And broke all the jugs, Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.
There was an old man of Dumblane, Who greatly resembled a crane; But they said, "Is it wrong, Since your legs are so long, To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"
There was an old man of Port Grigor, Whose actions were noted for vigour; He stood on his head Till his waistcoat turned red, That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
There was an old man of El Hums, Who lived upon nothing but crumbs, Which he picked off the ground, With the other birds round, In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
There was an old man in a barge, Whose nose was exceedingly large; But in fishing by night, It supported a light, Which helped that old man in a barge.
There was an old man of West Dumpet, Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet; When he blew it aloud, It astonished the crowd, And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
There was an old person of Sark, Who made an unpleasant remark; But they said, "Don't you see What a brute you must be, You obnoxious old person of Sark!"
There was an old person of Barnes, Whose garments were covered with darns; But they said, "Without doubt, You will soon wear them out, You luminous person of Barnes!"
There was a young lady of Greenwich, Whose garments were border'd with Spinach; But a large spotty Calf Bit her shawl quite in half, Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.
There was an old person of Cannes, Who purchased three fowls and a fan; Those she placed on a stool, And to make them feel cool She constantly fanned them at Cannes.
There was an old person of Hyde, Who walked by the shore with his bride, Till a Crab who came near Fill'd their bosoms with fear, And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"
There was an old person in gray, Whose feelings were tinged with dismay; She purchased two parrots, And fed them with carrots, Which pleased that old person in gray.
There was an old man of Dunrose; A parrot seized hold of his nose. When he grew melancholy, They said, "His name's Polly," Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
There was an old man of Ancona, Who found a small dog with no owner, Which he took up and down All the streets of the town, That anxious old man of Ancona.
There was an old person of Sestri, Who sate himself down in the vestry; When they said, "You are wrong!" He merely said "Bong!" That repulsive old person of Sestri.
There was an old person of Blythe, Who cut up his meat with a scythe; When they said, "Well! I never!" He cried, "Scythes for ever!" That lively old person of Blythe.
There was a young person of Ayr, Whose head was remarkably square: On the top, in fine weather, She wore a gold feather; Which dazzled the people of Ayr.